Written, directed by, and starring Nell Teare, Bolivar takes us on a journey of one woman’s grief as she tackles the other aspects of life that don’t disappear just because someone has passed away. While it may feel like your entire world has stopped, the treadmill of life keeps dragging you along. For Maggie, this means finalising her divorce, dealing with the antics of her brother and spending time with her father, who is also grieving but expressing it in a way Nell can’t understand.
Maggie’s mother has recently passed away. She’s visited (or perhaps haunted) by visions of her childhood. Flashbacks to making tomato sauce together; the simple movement of peeling tomatoes now imbued with significance after her mother’s hands are no longer there to hold. The audience find themselves also living within these memories as they posthumously weave the narrative of such an important and formative relationship. We only meet Maggie’s mother within these flashbacks. Young Maggie (Mary Marsland Teare) and her brother, Sonny, (Wyatt Teare) form a captivating connection with their mother (Hannah Teare). The loving tenderness within these scenes is a foundation for the emotional core of the film. The snippets of Maggie’s memories appear to us as memories do in real minds – darting back and forth between the present, the recent past, and the distant past you didn’t know you had remembered. Perhaps the most moving theme within these flashbacks is the things our mother’s teach us, and how we never know the importance of these impromptu lessons at the time of their teaching. It’s only though hindsight that we realise the impact these little things have over the course of our lives.
While Maggie’s memories will be swimming in melancholy for a while, they will eventually return to being suffused with happiness and warmth as she is able to focus on the celebration of life rather than the pain of death. For her father, however, the pain these memories cause in the present is too great a burden to bear. He attempts to banish her existence from his life, removing photos and reminders of his late wife from his home. This frustrates Maggie who wants to handle the difficult circumstances in a way that involves more communication.
Despite their differences, Maggie’s father is there to support her when she needs him most. The relationship created by Nell Teare and Robert Pine is truly heart-warming, capturing the bond between father and daughter. The tenderness displayed by Pine in the final act is mesmerising, creating a cathartic emotional release for the audience. Teare captures the very personal and emotionally involved state of grief with sensitivity. She also convincingly carries the twist of the film that unfolds near the end, adding a whole new perspective on certain events of the narrative.
Interview with Nell Teare
As the writer, director and star of Bolivar, you’ve proved to have many strings to your bow! Have you directed and acted in the same project before, or was this a new experience for you? How did you find the cross over from behind the camera to in front?
This was my first time directing myself! I directed 100+ projects before this one and collaborated with the same DP on many of those, so I felt that it was achievable. I also had months to plan, because of the pandemic. I started in this business as an actress and the role was so very specific that I decided to do. I felt very fulfilled wearing all of the hats. It was all encompassing and I loved that!
What prompted you to make Bolivar? Was there a distinct moment that made you think “this is a film that needs to be made”?
I lost my mother in 2011, and that was a very pivotal time in my life. I was very aware of my grieving process – kind of like an out of body experience – as if I were a fly on the wall of my life. About eight years ago, James Walsh (Sonny) and I were working on a short idea that we never did anything with, but stuck in my mind. I morphed an aspect of that to fit the story I wanted to tell about grief and it worked. I wrote the script in three weeks and we started shooting about six months later. It sort of had its own momentum and I just rode the wave.
Bolivar is very personal and emotionally wrought story. Did you find yourself drawing on your own experiences, or perhaps the experiences of those around you, to capture the nuanced emotions woven throughout the narrative?
Maggie is very much based on the way I react to loss. The characters in the film are based on my understanding of the people in my life. And that is what I love about the film. There are minimal details given about the characters, but the way Maggie feels about them is specific. And the things she remembers are the details that stuck out to her within a situation in her past. We all struggle with the loss of a person in different ways, because what we know of that person is specific to us.
Do you have a favourite memory from the shooting of the film?
My mother would constantly talk about the day we would all make movies together when my brother and sister and I were little. She was an actress and gave up her career way too soon, so her fantasies consisted of all of us performing together. We arrived in Bolivar, Texas to shoot the flashbacks in the film using my brother, sister, nieces and nephew and there were a few moments that were simply surreal. A decade after she passed, I had fulfilled a dream of hers. I loved that.
How did you find working with the other actresses and actors, balancing directing them and yourself?
I was an actress for many years before I started directing and so I loved being able to wear both hats. I had a lot of time to plan with my DP, Julia Swain, before we shot, because of the pandemic, and I trust her implicitly. We shot on film and so I like to have rehearsals and blocking before we ever get to set. I was able to craft the scenes with actors at the table. So when we got to set we all knew what the scenes were about and we were able to really play off of each other. My mantra for my performance was, “If I don’t feel it, they won’t feel it.”
Do you have any artistic rituals or practices that help get you in the mood for acting, writing or directing?
I watch the world very intently. I observe every detail I can. When I am working on a project, in any capacity, that becomes even more heightened. I am inspired by the most mundane things. The way a person holds their coffee cup, or bites their cuticle, or adjusts their clothes… I love to discover things about people and places that maybe other people don’t see. That is how I fall in love with world. That is how I love people.
How would you describe your goals as a creator? What, for you, is the purpose of filmmaking?
I want to tell stories that live in people’s minds. I think storytelling, and the characters within those stories, inform who we become in the world. I want to show people the world the way I see it. Comparing experiences is a wonderful way to understand different ways of being.
Are there any themes you’re especially interested in engaging with, or themes you think deserve to be brought to people’s attention?
I seem to gravitate toward grief. Human beings are constantly grieving. We grieve our childhoods, our pets, our favorite meals, etc. We long for things all the time. I’m very interested in that. We seem to be constantly pulled from anticipating to missing. The space between those two states of being is very interesting.
What have you been working on since Bolivar? Do you have any new projects in the pipeline?
I am currently in development on a few different projects. I have just started writing a new script and am attached to two features. The one that is almost ready to start production is go-Love-go, written by, John A. Griffin.
Do you have any advice for those wanting to follow a career path similar to yours? And finally, is there a quote or general ethos you try to live your life by?
Some of the most amazing aspects of my career have been things I could never have imagined, because I didn’t know they existed. I guess my advice would be to not create a definition of success that is so narrow, it doesn’t include the innumerable possibilities in the world that you don’t know are out there. My mantra is “to have perfect timing,” which is really about following my intuition.
Special thanks to Nell for such a wonderful interview – watch the trailer for Bolivar below!